meditations on first philosophy

thought i was doing well by reading the book before class started and sticky-noting stand out concepts/arguments. i even was beginning to feel more comfortable with the reality conundrum mentioned in the previous post. three days before class starts i get an e-mail from my professor saying "read Meditation I (pgs 12-15), refer to attached commentary and questions while reading."

initial response: i'm already on Meditation III so i'll just review/reread Meditation I with his pages of comments and questions.

second response: 3 full pages of analysis (8.5x11" ea) for 3 pages of text (5x8.5" ea) ?? i must be stupid because i didn't think there was that much material in the introductory meditation.

after reading: oh... i guess so.

still on page one of three of the professor's comments&questions. one point refers to paragraph 3 and the "argument from Illusion." paragraph 3 is two sentences.

initial and current response: where is the argument !? i must be stupid because i can't pull any form of argument from these apparently-laden-with-meaning two sentences...

sushi break please...

sunday funday

a quick update, sans photos...

1. i was awarded the UCLA TAP scholarship! it's $5,000 with the condition that i commit to participating in undergraduate research -- something i'd love the opportunity for, so this is so nice to receive $5k + a contract to do it (: the scholarship is renewable, assuming i fulfill all the reqs... nice!
2. i lost 1 pound! sound measly? maybe to the average supermodel, for whom a pound a day is par for the course... but for me it's a huge win because i feel like i've plateaued foreverrrr. now i'm 113! every time i work out, i'm 112 the day after, though... fleetingly. i hope i can attain that 112 for good, then 111... and ultimately 110. i'm toying with the idea of 110 lbs + an A in my first UCLA summer course = me treating myself to a shallow designer material object :D
3. caught up with jonas & lynard briefly last thurs&fri. nice (:
4. drove to malibu today with the aid of our new GPS system! yesss, it was so helpful, especially with all the detours we had to make. malibu is great, esp the malibu county market (dont be fooled by the name... it's a haven for boutiques / birkins / lazy sundays)... but the traffic is murder. in both directions. and there isn't any rush hour -- unless you'd say it spans the entire day...
5. yes i am unsatisfied with my Chloé Marlow. it's kind of large and the bottom sags which i'm quickly understanding is a constant concern with designer bags. so now i'm perusing (obsessing) for a new bag...
6. need to get crackin on descartes' meditations on first philosophy... i'm stuck on the whole formal/objective reality thing. i think i grasp his argument for the existence of god, but i'm not willing to attempt any further reading until i understand the reality concept.

mamegoma bruin

although technically, in the world of san-x, it's rilakkuma who's the bruin (:

a lot of things have been happening, all which have nothing to do which each other, but it would take too much effort on my part to attempt to find a connecting thread so i'm just going to spit them out:

UCLA orientation was ... overwhelming, and not in the intimidating-intellectual way you'd think. it was way less organized than you'd expect (or perhaps just i'd). way too many things we were supposed to be doing + too little time + too large of a campus, combined with little to no organization/directions. i understand we've been given a UCLA map, but considering the size of the campus, couldn't there have been at least some direction signs? also had insomnia for the last 3 nights leading up to orientation so by midday i wanted to vomit or die or both.

as a tutor for two years, i've had some pretty interesting insight into the variety of perspectives people have on education (for their kids). i've held different types of tutoring positions, so my observations have come from classroom settings, playground settings, and the family home itself. i have a lot of analysis and social commentary on this subject, which deserves a whole post to itself... so i'll save the spiel for later. but basically, this summer i tutor for a certain family. and it's plain sad how even the parents don't take their children's education seriously (constantly rescheduling so he can go to the beach/hang out with cousins/rest from being tired from school). the kid is rebellious and resistant, but that's kind of expected -- the parents, though, definitely need to get it together. even worse is the way they constantly forget their tutoring appointments. uhuh. no call, no text, no notification that they're not going to be home -- until i drive all the way there, ring the bell twice, knock on the door, wait around, call the mom's cellphone twice and get voicemail each time. this has happened more times than i can count. i don't charge for these incidents but i'm beginning to feel that i feel that i should, because it's just sooo inconsiderate. like, once or twice, understandable. but 12+ times you're doing this to me? and being inconsiderate is utterly UNCLASSY, no matter how many carats you're wearing in your ears.

ew i totally said i wouldn't rant but i kind of did.

on a lighter hearted note, my momma and i planted iceberg roses in our front yard. (: i love white iceberg roses! i love it in landscaping, which is highly convenient because around the south cali area, all the landscapers seem to love iceberg roses too (: they're very durable and easy to care for, while looking pretty elegant (: since ours are newly planted they're a little weak, but i'll update on their progress as they come along (:

contentment

one final moment to pause and reflect before diving in, and reveling in it all

i love being a philosophy major

i also love UCLA, the prospect of going into law, and the LSAT

this is just who i am. back in highschool while everybody grumbled about SAT and SAT prepclass, i loved SAT class. and now that the LSAT is coming up, i'm so excited to get back into that atmosphere again... the studying, the drilling, the anticipation, the hard work. you just feel so productive, smart, and happy.

at this point, i'm really happy.

simple post? yeah.. but i thought it was important to document. (:

before and after

that was the before; here's the after

when a true genius appears in the world, you may know him by this sign, that the dunces are all in confederacy against him. (jonathan swift, "thoughts on various subjects, moral and diverting")

i'm not in any way asserting that i am a genius, nor on the track to become one. i engage in all sorts of dumb practices like forgetting to take my keys and arriving home after 3am, or exiting a parking lot through the path that takes me the longest (and only realizing i've done so once i'm too far gone -- ah, well. next time i'll remember to go out the other way.)

i just wanted to reference this quote (from the beginning page of my A Confederacy of Dunces) because lately, my major has been eliciting the most disapproving, condescending, and dismissive reactions. as soon as (ignorant) people hear me say "philosophy," i can visually observe a multitude of connotations, generalizations, and assumptions start clamoring inside their heads...

anyway, this is me in poses with lots of leg creativity. hahaha. thats the effect black leggings have on you. i really live in these heel-out leggings, because i have this funny idea that the way they make my legs look thinner + are black makes me look like a spider. and i weirdly really like that, so i have like 8 pairs. hahaha.

btw i'm a UCLA bruin now. see photos. the first three are me as an arachnid without an identity. the second two are those in which i, now blessed with a UCLA permanent ID, am representin'.